there was always a distance
between us
a space I tried to cross
to reach you
I was alone
I sought your approval
thinking it was love
but now
I walk alone
crossing a bridge of my own making
to a place of my choosing
I don’t need you
to be on the other side
I am complete
© Claire Griffin 2016
This is the shortest edit I can make of a piece written in September. I find I am still processing the events and subsequent realisations from the end of last year. A massive emotional blow that led to the reassessment of a key person in my life and everything I thought I knew about my childhood.
I’ve been writing about these experiences over the last few months, and I hoped I had “dealt” with it all, but these thoughts keep surfacing.
So I hesitated to post this, yet another expression of my personal turmoil. When I shared this hesitation with a friend – she encouraged me to post saying “but you can put into words the things that others can’t – it helps others that you share your feelings” and then I remembered that I’ve always believed the deeply personal can be the most universal – so I trust that there will be something here to connect with.
And I’ll stop feeling I need to make excuses for them. These words are who I am, and who I am becoming.
Still, while I’m tired of the darkness these pieces contain, writing my way through these feelings has released me, and I feel as though I am an adult at last, although I wish it hadn’t taken so long.
I feel disappointed whenever I catch myself seeking approval from somebody. We are a strong species and we can survive alone… its nice to have somebody around though 🙂 I really like this poem, you have portrayed inner strength very well. Thanks for sharing 🙂
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Thanks Andy – it’s only recently I realised how much I wanted approval from this one person – but time has come to let that go – and it does feel better not to worry about what they think. More than that – thank you for your comments – love it when people make time to give feedback 🙂
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my pleasure:)
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I like the progression within the lines. I particularly appreciation the ending with a simple declarative statement reinforcing your healthy sense of self. Thanks for sharing.
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Hi Jon – I like poems to stand on their own but with this and “fortress” I thought it might help to comment – all part of the process. Thanks for appreciating that 🙂
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And I’ve just realised you were referring to the poem’s last line – I need to read more carefully 😉
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