you apologised for things not working out
between yourself and my mother
but you are not the one who left
you did not leave me
I was taken

you said you never knew there was anything wrong
there were never any arguments

but this is the way she was
she expected you to know
she passed judgement
she wanted to be right

you gave me enough love in those first few short years
that I always knew, somewhere deep, what love could be
this quiet gentle thing
a smile
a hug
a hand held to stop me from falling

there is a photo of us
you look so tall
and I am tiny

and there’s a memory I have
of running through green, green grass
I’m sure I was running to you

©clairegriffin2021