the key

there are rooms in this house I’ve not walked into
doors unopened, windows closed
paths that lie unchosen

I used to think
give me the key and I will fear I’m not worthy
give me the key and I will lose it
I will hide it
I will throw it away

but now – where does this fearlessness come from?

I walk down a dark hallway lined with doors
there are rooms I’ve forgotten
rooms I remember
but I don’t seek to re-enter those

its these other doors that intrigue me
doors that will open onto rooms I’ve never seen

I place one palm flat against the next door I come to
regretting that I never kept the key that once was mine
but it swings inward as soon as I touch it
and a flurry of small birds fly out
and I stand staring in bright light
at the dry golden grass beyond the open windows

I know this place
I was here once when I was young
I had forgotten it still lived within me

I step forward into a white room
white-washed wooden floor, white walls, ceiling open to the sky
as warm winds blow sheer white curtains toward me
my hair lifts in the smell of ozone and wild thyme

and here, on the table, in the centre of the room
is a carved box and a small bronze key

I recognise it
the same key I once abandoned
I mistook its purpose
this was never a key to open doors
doors that I had only ever imagined to be locked

this is a key to the future
and some strange magic has restored it to me
a whole new fertility is setting seed and ripening
mortality is making me brave

I unlock the box, and inside there are pencils and pens and bottles of ink
I shut the door behind me
and start writing on the walls

if I ever need to leave
the windows are open

 

©clairegriffin2017

dreams of – caring and doorways and disguises

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what does it mean when:

  • you dream of spending a day taking care of a sheep?

A sheep that looked more like a brindle-coloured pit bull – but was definitely a sheep – or really more of a lamb.

It seemed this lamb wasn’t going to have much of a future (perhaps blind, disabled?) and somehow it was at my workplace (which looked nothing like my real one). I spent a lot of my time carrying it around – left arm holding it close.

Having left work at the end of the day, I felt the need to go back and check on it. I unlocked a heavy wooden exterior door, and discovered I couldn’t re-lock it from the inside. This caused a little concern, but I continued, entered the office, and the lamb came running toward me.

I checked it was fed and watered and had a cosy place to sleep – then – either the dream or my memory of it, faded away.

thoughts:

  • some things are not what they seem
  • the need to care overcomes fear
  • what is opened cannot be closed