there is an emptiness
my memory cannot fill
the room is quiet, the air is still
you will not cross this floor
nor cast a shadow
but you will meet me in dreams
a tall dark woman with golden eyes
cloaked in velvet, brushed with star-light
you will lead me through the wild world
to the hiding places under trees
I will follow you
my heart beating in time
with every breath and silent step
and we will sleep
curled together in the night
in memory of Frida – my wild gypsy queen – gone to wander among the stars
16 or more years – she came to me as a street-wise, street-child who would not be held,
who would fight for her freedom to roam the wild places
a canny little thing – never once, to my knowledge, in a fight with another cat,
but I did find her watching once or twice
after a year or two of patiently letting her have her way, she walked in one day,
made eye contact, and decided to be more approachable
she loved to be brushed, she’d let her claws be trimmed without a fuss
she had a few health problems – hyperthyroidism, flea allergy, and later kidney problems
she had a love of ice cream I put down to a deprived childhood
during the last night of my handsome Thomas,
she stayed up all night, keeping vigil with me
and after he passed she became closer, snugglier
she’s been by my side constantly these last couple of years while I’ve read and written
my way into a deeper understanding of myself
this little shadow, this feisty willful girl – she deserves to have the best of times
in this new, mysterious chapter of her life
get close, dig in, chase down your dreams
balance on the edge, taste the sweetness
fly hard against the wind
what does it mean when:
- you dream of spending a day taking care of a sheep?
A sheep that looked more like a brindle-coloured pit bull – but was definitely a sheep – or really more of a lamb.
It seemed this lamb wasn’t going to have much of a future (perhaps blind, disabled?) and somehow it was at my workplace (which looked nothing like my real one). I spent a lot of my time carrying it around – left arm holding it close.
Having left work at the end of the day, I felt the need to go back and check on it. I unlocked a heavy wooden exterior door, and discovered I couldn’t re-lock it from the inside. This caused a little concern, but I continued, entered the office, and the lamb came running toward me.
I checked it was fed and watered and had a cosy place to sleep – then – either the dream or my memory of it, faded away.
- some things are not what they seem
- the need to care overcomes fear
- what is opened cannot be closed
Thinking about dreams…
What does it mean when you meet someone in a dream, you learn their name, their job, develop friendship. They are interested in who you are, they look at your writing.
They asked me a question I can’t remember fully – but I know it was a challenge of sorts – “so if you have this Scottish heritage why are you still writing …?” I can’t remember the rest of their question, but I know I countered with “…and the Irish”. We were looking at handwritten text and in the dream I could read it – but have no idea now what was written.
We sit looking at the dark sky filled with multiple crescent moons and stars and I say, “on nights like this I can’t imagine there being anywhere better – but maybe its time to leave…” and we agree to move away.
It really is like living another life…
Preparing for February – finding and maintaining balance will be important as I settle back into work.
seek balance between earth and sky, light and shade, warm and cool – soar on the updrafts toward your dreams
Just a note – one or two friends checked in with me recently and I told them – don’t worry – I’m fine. It’s true that I hadn’t been feeling that great for a while at the start of this year. I went quiet for a while and then posted a couple of dark pieces. I go into the dark sometimes – but I’ve learnt to trust myself to re-emerge. I’m not afraid of the dark – and I like to think – the dark – that’s where the seeds start to grow.
Take care everyone – hoping the next month is good to you xx.