I wave to you from across the road
every turn of my wrist
an invitation and a farewell
a door opening and closing
I cannot decide
whether to use the weight of my heart
as a doorstop to wedge this door open
or to keep it closed
daily prompt – wrist and door – from Sarah Selecky https://www.storyisastateofmind.com/
©clairegriffin2017
this window opens and catches
between its edges the colour of trees
and the sound of birds
it holds a place in time and space
a marker in the book where I live
when I need to find my page
I lift this twisted bookmark
and my book opens to the perfect day
I signed up for a month’s collection of daily prompts from Sarah Selecky.
This was my response to number one.
If you’re interested check her website: https://www.storyisastateofmind.com/
©clairegriffin2017
exciting !!!
I look at blogs with thousands of followers – and can’t really imagine it. To me these 101 follows are little nods of acceptance, handfuls of flowers, acknowledgement that I’m on the right track.
To the 101 people who saw something interesting and chose to follow – thank you all ❤️ (and if I didn’t follow back … hmm … perhaps I need to revisit you and have another look ❤️😉)
shift your rhythms / attend to the night / tune in to moonrise and moonset / fluid and regular / dark in the light / light in the dark
Here’s my calendar page for June. I’ve been so busy and distracted by 9-5 work that I almost forgot to post this.
I’m definitely feeling the need to shift my rhythms – to accept getting up in the dark, getting home in the dark. I’m trying adjust to winter – to slow down and not push myself to do too much.
I welcome those bright clear winter days when they visit – but today is cloudy and cold – just me and a book bundled up keeping warm.
I’ve got some writing ideas underway – just taking me ages to finish things.
©clairegriffin2017
a small wooden box sits beside me on the table
crafted from three types of wood – plum, matai and kauri
glowing red and golden brown in the winter sun
the top fits snugly
and needs firm but gentle pressure
if I am to lift the lid
I almost never do
I cradle it in one hand, lay the other across the top
eyes closed, body memory recalling texture and movement
remembering what it was like to touch one small live warm soul
its been two years now
at first, I immersed myself in your image, walked past photos of you every day
until slowly, I moved beyond the raw pain, the sadness
I no longer reached out as if my touch could wake you
but a week ago I stopped, felt the tightness preceding tears
felt compelled to touch the frame
that has held its four wooden arms around you
and I thought – this is the time
this is the time to write of you, to write to you
my little heart, my elegant soul, my brave boy
long-legged, big-eared, golden-nosed
one wide band of black glossy hair from head to tail
proud-chested, regal, handsome tabby face
in your younger days you would go in to battle
with any who dared cross your boundaries
until the end, when you were content to watch from the window
you were nervous of people you didn’t know
it took you years to stay in the same room with strangers
until the end, when any lap was a warm haven
you loved to lie full length in the sun
you loved sleeping on the bed
until the end, when stretching and jumping was an effort
your bright eyes, pale greeny-gold
would gaze into mine, like two souls connected
until the end, when you were blinded by age
until those last three days
when, over and over again,
you were shaken by the hand of some cruel god
you fell and trembled, lost all control and woke wet and bewildered
and each time, all I could do was cry and hold you
clean you and let you bury your head in my arms
you deserved to go easy
the last thing I could do was help you avoid
the hand that sought to wrench you from my side
was to help you slip away, peaceful
and sitting there, as the vet left the room for potions of sweet sleep
you lifted your head and looked toward the sunlit window
you were seeing something . . .
red and golden wood now shelters you
and yesterday I lifted the lid
and touched the air above you with the tip of one finger
I felt a pulse – of my heart, of yours?
and passing your photo, I closed my eyes and kissed the frame
tears rose and fell, and it was slowly that I wiped them away
nineteen years you walked this earth
and now a small wooden box sits on the table
who would think the memories of so many years
could live within its walls
for Thomas, and all those who understand the connection between human and animal
©clairegriffin2017
My calendar for May:
“find your tribe, spend time with those who share your dreams, challenge your doubts and lift your spirits”.
As we go into colder darker weather, spending time with positive souls helps to warm the heart.
unable to sleep
I sit by the window
looking out into darkness
into my knowledge
of what lies beyond the glass
my eyes see nothing
but the soft black mounds of hills
given shape by the merest light
of moon and star
filtered through cloud
and there is stillness and quiet
the night-quiet when the wind has calmed
and tree ferns hang their fronds down
relaxing their leafy arms into the dark
while the birds sleep in the trees
there are creatures about
snails edging across the driveway
cats patrolling their borderlands
and a moth that stumbles across this page
on its way towards the torchlight
that lights my pen
©clairegriffin2017
Finally finished writing a poem I began at the end of last year – “killed a few darlings” yesterday – and freed them to begin life in some new work 😊 Phew!!
It was something I just had to complete – but I feel its been blocking me from engaging with anything new.
“Kill your darlings” is a phrase I learnt earlier this year, meaning that when revising your work, sometimes you’ve got to let go of some of the words/phrases/paragraphs etc that you love the most. Damn that was hard! But I knew that things weren’t working while I kept trying to include these.
So – after shifting from poetry to prose and back again, with attempts to merge the two, I tried to be ruthless, kept the bits I thought worked the best, ignored some of the original sequence and rearranged lines and verses, and crossed a few things off completely. It’s taken me weeks !!!
And at the end of all this – two and a half pages of 11pt verse. I hope I never get the urge to write a novel – it would take me years !!!
What I’m excited about and what came as something of a surprise, is that the “darlings” I had to cull immediately began to take on a life of their own. I felt released by removing them and realised they weren’t gone for good – I could keep working with these initial ideas and bring them to completion in their own right(write).
I’m looking forward to sharing these resurrected darlings when they’re finished. ❤️❤️
Some days I get home and my head is spinning with people I’ve met, notes I need to write up, extra unexpected tasks suddenly announced – things to do – things to do – and never enough time.
Today was one of those days – and I could feel anger rising in response to feeling overwhelmed – that’s a good thing for me – I used to just get lost in the overwhelming.
But anger is not something I like to feel – so – I took my camera and walked outside into my overgrown garden – trusting there will always be something there to help me calm and quietly breathe.
This beauty looked up at me – pale and peaceful in the twilight.
Is there really anything to worry about – nothing that won’t wait til tomorrow – for now – I will lose myself in amongst the petals and dream.
©clairegriffin2017
The first day of the month spent at a writer’s workshop. So powerful hearing the feedback from others, their interpretations, their challenges, their questions. Much that confirmed my ideas, some that surprised.
Tasked now with the job of a major re-arrangement of text – exciting to look forward to a completed work. I can feel it in my mind, almost see it – but the work of selecting and placing text will be harder when I work on it with pen and paper, even with scissors and glue. Just realised – this work does fit with this month’s poem.
©clairegriffin2017
invisible necessity 